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@tamarab

My beloved accuses me of having tirades and I am admittedly explosive but these are a projection and he gets enraged. His recovery is rather quick though he remembers the "fight" and carries his grievances for a long time. Oh where is memory loss when we most need it? I just realized that his overtalking me is often the trigger as I then [heaven help us] try to repeat my message.

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Replies to "My beloved accuses me of having tirades and I am admittedly explosive but these are a..."

@tamarab it sure sounds like you’ve gotten into a vicious circle with no winners, only losers.
There is also some good information from Mayo Clinic on managing anger. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434

“While you can't cure anger, you can manage the intensity and effect it has upon you. Effective therapeutic strategies exist for managing anger and can help you become less reactive. You can even learn to develop more patience in the face of people and situations you cannot control.”
https://www.psychguides.com › treat...

Do you have someone to talk to who can help you learn how to manage anger or just to talk with?