@marjou Your post this morning really touched my heart. I’m so sorry you have this deep level of depression and mood swings. You mentioned trying medications and tools for overcoming this and nothing has worked.

I’m a generally overly-perky person, so when I went spiraled down into a deep depression in my early 40s for no discernible reason it was frightening. I had mood swings and an all encompassing dark veil around me constantly. There was nothing negative going on in my life. It just happened! It was debilitating, my 10 year old daughter and husband suffered along with me as their lives were greatly affected as well.

Blood tests from my gynecologist at the time showed a serious hormonal imbalance due to my hitting peri menopause. It was recommend I take hormone replacement therapy. Since my mother had issues with the mainstream HRT, I wasn’t keen on taking them. However, my doctor was open to alternative medicine and prescribed a plant based hormone balancing cream instead, Rebalancing my hormones made all the difference in the world! I applied the cream in 1/4 tsp amounts once per day on my arm and it was like a miracle drug for me, completely restoring my annoyingly perky demeanor.

I’m curious if you’re doctor has ever run a hormone test on you?
It’s just a thought and in no way meant to be a diagnosis. I’ve found a couple of articles relating to this.
Peace...Lori.
https://renewmetoday.com/blog/2020/07/13/why-hormone-imbalance-cause-depression-and-anxiety/
https://www.endocrineweb.com/hormonal-imbalances-depression