You are so right. I live that 24/7 with my husband who is diabetic, arthritic & has a hearing loss and have now added my 41yo daughter, who has chronic health issues and is recovering from a badly broken wrist & surgery.
This morning one of my best friends is in the ER with her husband, who is blind, has COPD and kidney failure, once again because he refuses to drink water and everything goes "kaflooey."
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is take a step back and be quiet for a while, then when the next crisis arrives, try to clue the doctor to what is going on and get her/him to press treatment options.
Another tactic I have tried with some success is to pick a clam moment and address how ONE aspect of their health impacts me (eg When you get low blood sugar, I get scared, it makes me worried that you are going to get sicker and we'll have to quit traveling, and I don't think I can do "XX" without your help. I would like to help keep it controlled better by giving you small, healthy snacks to eat even when you don't think you are hungry. Is there anything I else I can do to support you?)
Sometimes it takes 2-3 reps to sink in. Maybe your wife is reluctant to get into the fun of nebulizing, sitting, then cleaning...can you possible offer to take care of set up and cleaning of her equipment, and provide books, puzzles to work on? I tolerate nebbing better sitting in front of a fun jigsaw puzzle.
Sue