That is a tough place to be, @junkartist. Do you think they would be receptive to cards and letters that might affirm your love for them?

It might be a way to express your feelings for them and to keep the lines of communication open. I'm not sure how it would be received, but you might consider doing so down the road.

We have a discussion group on Journaling, which you might take a look at, Journaling – The Write Stuff For You?
Here is the link, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/t. It has examples of the ways people journal about their feelings.

Keep talking about your feelings of loss and disappointment. Believe it or not, this is healthy and will be good for you.

I care about you. Will you keep posting and provide updates on how you are doing?