Hello patf. My name is Virginia Naeve. I was sorry to hear about the sleeping problems that Tom is having. It will wear you out as well because it's doubtful that you are getting any sort of quality sleep. I'm wondering if Tom is napping during the day, and if he is, perhaps you can try to prevent him from doing that so he's more tired at night. I know a physician who specialized in sleep disorders, and the first thing he recommends is 10mg of melatonin two hours before bed so you are on the right track with that. Also, there are no side effects from Melatonin. My mom did have seroquel on an as needed basis (hospital visits made her agitated and aggressive) but I don't know enough about that drug to give you any tips. Keep in touch and let us know how you and Tom are doing, ok?