I understand the inner strength taking a back seat and how it all becomes overwhelming. I at time just want to throw in the towel. It has been an ongoing battle for over 60 years, and some of the physicians I have seen through the years I pray are no longer practicing due to their God complex and the refusal to listen to patients. And now with multiple doctors in different networks trying to keep all of them up to date on all tests run and different diagnoses is a challenge. We must advocate for ourselves and I actually now keep a record of everything at home to carry to each physician. We must educate ourselves to all the current data, medications, and research as many of us have the outside the box diagnosis. I actually ask one physician recently if he has ever suffered with a long term illness and if he actual understands not just the physical but the mental aspects of dealing with such. He said no, but then he went on to say that he has always taken care of himself so he doesn't see it happening. I asked him for further details and he actually stated that because I didn't properly care for myself that it was my fault I was ill and I should not look for a cure or relief until I met his standard of self care. Needless to say he is no longer one of my physicians. Those of us that suffer also needs to understand that if their physician does not seem knowledgeable of the condition we are suffering with and does not seem motivated enough to learn or if you are not comfortable with them it is perfectly okay to find another physician that does.
Only each one of us knows the struggle we face daily and I don't know about you but I cannot afford to run to a therapist or doctor with each new depressive episode or symptom as these can change daily. I do depend on online forums, even if it is just to read others trials and know I am not alone in all the struggles that we face daily.
Barb