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@1nan- I also agree with how well @loula, @suz22, and @evamarie0077, have handled their fear. I don't think that it ever goes away though. For me, after 23 years of cancer, it's always about putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I get a foot halfway there and it's stuck for a bit or a while. I don't do well with anticipating but I'm a pro at last-minute fears and barge ahead. Unless I am very ill, each new day I get up. When my foot hits the ground I at least get up and make coffee and wash up. I used to have the dry-heaves but after I had cancer that kind of put things in perspective.
At times I'm positive that it's the momentum of the Earth that carries me to the next step. After cancer, the pandemic, or any other life-threatening event fear is always there, at least in the distance anyway. So I think that even if we move ahead it is a ruling force. One I tolerate, but it's there.
Merry
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@merpreb Merry, I am so grateful that I don’t go through fear in that way, but I certainly do appreciate and feel so sorry for those who have that experience. I have found that this time I am thinking about it more because my last Mayo Clinic appointment in January left the impression that they are considering it a matter of time before I am no longer in remission. While it is more curiosity that I am experiencing right now, I find it comforting to “know my enemy” and know that I will be able to deal with whatever happens because I have done it before. There is a lot of self-confidence that comes from believing and knowing that fact. I guess that is because it really is not an unknown, but rather like revisiting an experience. Is there anything in that thinking that might be of help to you? Nancy