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.... just want to add ... is it true that, as well as the fact we all handle pain differently, that some actdually have less pain tolerance than others...... my spouse and I could have exactly the same thing yet he can "handle" the pain which I cannot.... I have always had a low pain tolerance and wonder if its different bodies; how we were raised; emotional connection? I also need verification of my suffering, not necessarily sypathy (sorry but true) yet he keeps quiet about it..... just curious.... J.
Replies to ".... just want to add ... is it true that, as well as the fact we..."
@lacy2 It is indeed true that we all handle pain differently. While it could be a factor of environment, how our bodies each talk to our communication center has a play in pain acknowledgment. We each are a miracle of cooperation in how our bodies work, but we are not cookie cutter! My husband has a hard time acknowledging my physical issues [let alone emotional/mental!], but that is a product of him and his past.
@ess77 has eloquently phrased some of my thoughts! I don't live near any Mayo campus, and have taken my medical providers under my wing to help them be the best they can be, for me. You have to consciously choose each day, to be your best, and not focus on the pain. Doing something that lets you put aside, or lessen your discomfort, even for a little while, proves to yourself you have that power, and it is empowering! It can make you want to do more or try other things to ease that discomfort. Start small. Five minutes of feeling better, then aim for ten.
By the way, it is not selfish to want to ease your discomfort. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Ginger
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@lacy2 Oh, my have you hit on some important areas re pain and those pesky relationships.
I know we each have different mental, emotional, physiological reactions to pain of all types. For me, if I'm tired from staying up too late, like I did last night, the next day's pain may be tougher, either more or more difficult to handle. Seems logical. My choice had consequences. Took me a life-time to learn.
Also, I don't think we can ever compare one person's pain to another. Lacy, I have fibromyalgia. Medicine now knows this illness actually increases pain sensations, so even stumped toes are felt differently.
It's wonderful you found Mayo Connect. Here we meet folks who understand what we're feeling. They are or have been where we are and know, want to support us - Chris @artscaping or Sue @sueinmn or Ginger @gingerw or Becky @becsbuddy and so many others. They have helped me with all these issues, given me the support I never had or never felt I had.....they understand. Most important to me and my growth along this journey is this caring support. I hit a rough patch, shared and they were right there with me. I'll never forget that feeling. It was the beginning of my healing.
I'm not alone. NOT ALONE. Wow! That all by itself is healing.
Blessings. elizabeth