I empathize with your unfortunate disease experiences. I relate to the pain of your losses. My husband has inclusion body Myositis. He has lost so much muscle that as a former relented athlete he can barely walk. I have cried my heart out so many times over the losses he has experienced with difficulty swallowing, attempting to walk down a step or open a bottle of water. All these things he has valiantly gone o. On his attitude to be resourceful and find something to bring him joy. I believe this is the key thing in this type of situation. Find something I. Life that can bring you some happiness. Keep on enjoying life. This is all we have left . I only hope you can find something in your sphere to give you some happiness