← Return to Relationships after Chemo

firelady405 (@firelady405)

Relationships after Chemo

Cancer | Last Active: Mar 1 8:18am | Replies (9)

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Just signed up. Sorry no responses as of yet. I’m a 16 month survivor of Stage IV jejunal (small intestine) cancer. Very rare. My wife and I were having problems before my diagnosis. We’d been married 22 years before my diagnosis and were having troubles the 4 years prior to diagnosis. My very first thought upon diagnosis was “who will take care of me” because she had all but checked out. She came through like a champ and the love was even starting to return. But as I started to get better, our relationship started to regress. So now I am at a point where I struggle between trying to recover and trying to save my marriage. So I may not be able to help answer your question per se, but I would love to have others chime in on relationship challenges and if they are in the same boat as us: struggling with our relationship AND our illness. And how do you decide what to do? I look forward to the conversations.

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Replies to "Just signed up. Sorry no responses as of yet. I'm a 16 month survivor of Stage..."

My husband and I are really having a tough time of it. Our relationship has always been fragile but this past year he suffered a heart attack and had a 5 way bi-pass. Eight months later came my cancer diagnosis. Even though he says he’s “there for me” he is anything but! These kinds of things really make you face what is important in life and constantly butting heads with my husband is not in my future plans. I nursed him through his heart condition and all that entails. He talked with my Oncologist twice for about 10 minutes each time. He never went to my chemo appointments and it was only when my son took one look at me during a particularly rough patch of chemo that the suggestion was made that “Dad, you better help mom.” If anything, I have realized that my friends were there for me more than he was. Life is precious…I am in the process of purging the negative. As soon as I have the strength I will find a place of my own. As long as I have a roof over my head, soup in the pantry and supportive friends I know I will get through whatever is in the plan for me. So sorry you are going through this but you can’t fix anything but yourself right now.

I can understand this so well.. They say they are there for us but we feel the difference. we need to thinkof ourselves and keep the negative people out of it.. Best of luck to you in the future