@colleennyoung This might be to much info you decide.
I am 76 and most of my life I like most men and women thought that it was my job, duty, responsibility etc. to satisfy my wife sexually.
You know get her to an orgasm and when it rarely ever happened, I know it was more of a disappoint for me than her. So we build up these insecurities and
cobwebs in our heads that interfear. Much latter I came to the conclusion that you satisfy you and I satisfy me. She has what we call a tool box and
it is now her problem. If done alone or together it's just as exciting/satisfying, we both get off and takes the pressure off me.
I wish we had started this years ago.