@actsoflight @danab has brought up really good points. And your questions are certainly valid. I will tell you from my experience, if I may. My husband, when he asked me to be his caregiver, was simply a good friend, and we lived 100 miles apart. It was an honor to be considered, and I said "yes". Not knowing much about what to expect, but figuring it would work out. I was pretty sure he would be transplanted at the center 20 miles from him.

But, the call came in from the second center, 125 miles south of him. 225 miles south of me! They told him in the morning he was a possible recipient of a kidney, but he was #3. Later they called to say he was #2. He had a bag packed. When the call came in, he was already hooked up to his nightly peritoneal dialysis. He climbed in his truck, threw in a bucket to drain in to, and left. He forgot his packed bag. The deceased donor had been on life support, and at 4pm, the harvesting of useful organs started. I know two kidneys and the pancreas were successfully transplanted. His surgery was at 9pm that same night.

Good for you for thinking of all the questions you are bringing up. Rest assured that there are people reading these posts and being educated as we speak!
Ginger