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There could be problems with calling 911 if you feel you are in danger. Defenders of the potentially violent person can rally around that person and decide you are the person with the mental problem and the whole thing boomerangs on you. The main reason I did not share my husband's abuse with others or the professionals is because it could make me look like the bad person instead of the person throwing the tantrum. My husband would lie and tell others how badly I treated him and they believed his stories. He told our sons I refused to fix lunch for him on weekends and the truth was I had supplies to feed him that had to be discarded after he never bothered to come in the house to eat or wanted instant demand cooking when I was involved in other work. And he would never help himself to fix a meal. After he died, I lived in fear of someone charging me with causing his illness and death so I kept very quiet about everything. This delayed my eventual healing process and I suffered from nightmares for months until I gained enough strength in reality to understand that he could never hurt me mentally again. Potential victims need training on how to be safe, nonconfrontational, economically protected, and find reliable support people to get through the crises that arise. Eventually the victim needs to find another place and way of living that protects them because it never gets better with time. I did not leave the marriage for 50 years, however now I realize that I should have in later years after I had a safe place and a little savings. I would have sacrificed time with my grandchildren and I refused to do that. Freedom from mental abuse and control is not a bad goal.
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I remember when I was a teenager my mother brought my grandmother to live with us because she didn't want her in an institution. She was one crazy old woman, with moaning that frazzled all our nerves. After two weeks my father came home from work, took one look at the sad scene in our home, and said "there is a crazy person living in this house. If this keeps up, there will soon be two crazy women living in this house." He told my mother to take her mother back to where she could be cared for, and my mother complied. My grandmother and grandfather both lived institutionalized until their deaths, and they didn't know us or were not sane enough for us to visit. My cousin, a nurse, saw that my grandfather was bathed once a week, by force, usually. My point is that we need to learn enough to protect our own mental health while caring for those whose minds can destroy us as well. Dorisena