Negative thoughts. Well, newly diagnosed, I have to admit that's pretty much all I had. I wanted to scream in absolute frustration and constant fear of this new nightmare. A day seemed to last forever, and even though it's been only three weeks it seems like it has been one horrible bad day. But... occasionally, not always, I now find myself realizing that I can do this. Baby steps. Just one small step at a time, one decision at a time, one piece of information at a time. And every single message of support, a word of encouragement, a hug sent via fb, or a phone call just to say I'm just checking in - every single one of those helps to build the foundation of the support system that is so desperately needed. The negative thoughts are there, always, especially when yet another scary apointment or treatment option hits you. Reach out. Lean on your support, take their offers of live and ideas for resources. I can do this! Not by myself, but with my husband, my tribe of friends, my care team, and any other resource I allow myself to let in. I am no longer the one who solves every one else's problems, my type A personality has to take a back seat, my absolute reliance on lists and plans has gone out the window, and I'm not wonder woman. I am me. Scared, loved, supported, and fighting like hell to adjust to my new normal.
I can do this,
Vicky