Thank you Erika, family therapy has been suggested, but for now, I think we'll stick with gentler approach. One of my daughter's criticisms is that I am manipulative and controlling. I think that one possibility is that she is blaming me for all her worries. My middle son has said flatly that "he doesn't want to talk about it at this time." I think that working with thing out with Sam may leading to breaking through to the other two. They do talk to my husband and usually ask for me. I try to respond calmly and neutrally. One time, I was talking to my middle son and I pushed him too hard to tell me what was wrong. He was very angry about that. So you see, they all have different personalities and I tend to light the fuse. My husband is taking the lead right now.
Thank you for listening, reminding me of the importance of communication and suggesting options.