Oh hope you didn't think I was comparing ... but I suppose am trying to say, or wonder if, for instance actual life events does make a difference in how some of us cope: my husband is a very basic person, my second marriage, and he was raised differently, did not suffer 9 yrs abusive marriage with no family support, leave his home and country at 18, did his own thing with no children etc. and I could go on..... whereas I have a laundry list of illnesses and mentally abusive (daily) 9 year marriage and then raising 2 children on my own office income.... it was a hard and a lot of stress, then finally diagnozed with cancer and had major drug reaction etc. etc. - am not looking to say I win as I had much more stress and worries than he did BUT I DID. So in basic terms.. as I see it, he still has a lot more fight left in him than I do ! Sorry hard to explain... but he recently had emergency heart surgery out of town and came home a changed man.... I couldn't believe it... maybe first time in life faced with death? it was out of his control? pain and suffering? Trauma! I dont know and didnt mean this chat to turn into this.... but some people have higher hills to climb; some find it hard to climb lower hills than others; and some have fallen down the hills high or low so many times they just are struggling to overcome the bumps, let alone hills. In friendship, J.