Very well put Ginger and I am working on it but ..... Might it also depend on past history, I mean like some people have not had the trauma that others have and then when some or more of "life's problems" come along, don't have the strength to deal with? Thats how I feel... worn out over the years and not enough inner strength left to fight the battles now... all used up. I agree with your philosophy and am doing some zoom with a therapist re cognitive behaviour and "choices".... and, trust me, I know the choices I would like to make and am trying to accept the things I cannot change - and accept or not, it is a challenge. I am sorry to hear you have issues to deal with while also helping others with theirs... Might sound odd, but its not only the illnesses I have (just speaking for myself) but the "challenges" dealing with mis-diagnosis, treatment by some doctors in those days, wrong medications, errors in surgery, bully family doctor, no full family support, low income, bullying at work and I could go on. I am "passive" and thinking things over, had I had more support through many bad times, it would not have all fallen on my shoulders..and had I been more "street wise" and spoken up for myself and/or deals with issues rather than be trod on.... I could have handled things more to my advantage, etc. but I will stop here in case I write a book. Thanks for your words of encouragement.