Thank you for posting this !

Honestly, I don't have any other options. It's either do or die. And I can feel it edging ever closer every day. Truth be told, I fret about dying every day. And every week it just gets worse. I break down, and sometimes I get so frustrated I have to punch something. I keep wondering if I'll even make it to the next month. And yet, the next month always comes, and I still continue to get worse. The only thing keeping me going right now is my faith and my knowledge of how things are interacting with my body. I've had to relearn things, glean new info from the experiences I'm having, and learning to cope with new symptoms and disabilities. The other day the right side of my face went numb and it grew difficult to try and move it. But after several seconds it went back to normal. In that instance, I don't recall being terrified, I just thought, "oh, this is a new one." And just contemplated as to why it could have happened. Got an MRI and there is still no answers. Still 30 years of age and sometimes I have to crawl to get to where I need, or have someone brush my teeth for me. It's devastating, yes. But it's good to be able to have people around who care and can assist me when needed. It would be far scarier without them.

I get by, by controlling what I know I can control (which isn't much). But doing, that. Focusing on the things I enjoy, and trying to help others that are trying to find answers, forms a sort of comradery. It's comforting to know that other people are fighting for their answers too, and perhaps if they find their answer, it could be your answer too. It's easier to fight if you have people by your side.