Good evening Manni, @keltothemoon, and welcome to Connect, So, from 14 to 18, life has been been quite erratic and challenging for you, Because of your self-diagnosing and research you are leaning toward a diagnosis of cyclothymia which can lead to Bipolar. So far, you have not been treated and have been rather quiet about your behavior and symptoms. My mental health training is very old and so am I. However, I want to tell you that we have been dealing with a similar situation. My granddaughter is a born “helper” and was majoring in mental health after suffering through years of OCD including residential treatment,

Her boyfriend, for whom she is caregiver and to some degree therapist, is Bipolar. He has been in a residential treatment center several times, required EMC by helicopter which prevented one of his self harm episodes and is quite a talented artist and musician. Because of COVID, he gave up his Stand up Comedy routine.

Somehow, someway, they have been able to help each other, e.g. he helps her choose her outfit for the day because decision making is too stressful for her. She comes when he calls......always worrying about the severity of an episode. He is honest with her and she with him. Recently he began getting ketamine infusions, Unfortunately they became too expensive and so he went back to meds and talk therapy.

Are you still with me? They participated in our Holliday Zoom programs, first time he had all 12 of us in front of him. Within a couple of days they were driving back to the city after doing some volunteer care duties for farm animals. On the way back, he mentioned to her, “please drop me off at the Mental Health hospital....I am not getting over this. I am too suicidal.” After admission he told her he would probably be there a week to work out all of the manic symptoms that had built up.

He was right, and he is now back home working on his next recording, The point here is......do not be afraid of the diagnosis or the treatment. Find help where you know you will be cared for and treated with respect at all times. Be just as honest with the members of your therapy team as you are with yourself.

What would be the first 3 items you would like help with..........
1._________________
2._________________
3._________________

May you be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
Chris