@ta52- Everyone's life's journey is different, and so are their cancer journeys. After my first lung surgery there wasn't any protocol for treatments. And I felt guilty for not suffering like everyone else. I felt like I had joined a group, but was on probation because I didn't have all of the credentials. Looking back I can certainly understand this thinking but it's unrealistic. For me, I felt like I hadn't suffered enough so I needed more treatments. It was part of my terror This is what feeling survivor's gilt is all about. Of course I feel horrible for all of us. I've had 23+ years of it and watching people who were friends die.

Right now it is considered part of PTSD.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325578#what-is-it
My son once asked me, "Mom, what do you get out of feeling guilty?" Boy, did that stop me short. What I got out of it was beating myself up about not quitting smoking sooner. It wasn't actually about anyone else. But everyone is different. Everyone has their own reasons. It's a great question to ask though: "What do we get out of it?"