@lisakuehl- I am truly sorry for the loss of your husband. Losing a spouse is so difficult by itself, please don't beat yourself up about his treatments, or his decision to have them. After we are given a diagnosis of cancer, and one of the most difficult things to deal with is the loss of control of our lives. It's all up to trusting the medical field and at the mercy of Insurance companies. However, doctors can't read into the future. Also, there are no miracle drugs or drugs that work the same way for everyone. Doctors may not tell everyone all of the possibilities of certain drugs and their effects because that would be impossible. Also, there is one thing that no one can take away from us and that is hope. Any second-guessing this by his medical team would have been immoral.

Side-effects from treatments are often difficult and some have to be stopped. One of my doctors once said to me, "Chemical intervention is the ultimate blunt instrument", Medications have different effects, beyond their intended use, upon different people, then you can possibly predict. Normal biomolecules in normal biological systems have multiple uses and multiple effects."

Again I am very sorry for your loss. Following our doctor's recommendations is always recommended but the outcome of any cancer is always a guess, as are the treatments. All of the decisions that you and your husband made were together. Please don't carry this on your shoulders. Sometimes all we have is hope and for some of us, it is sustaining.

I hope that the memories of your time with your husband have sustained you and gone beyond his cancer.

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