Joy -
Long term care insurance is as rare as hens' teeth and can be very expensive if you try to acquire when you actually need it. Most health insurance, including Medicare, offers very limited options for long term care -generally only very short term "rehab" after a hospital stay, or hospice/end of life care under separate rules is covered.

Joy, if your friend has a long term care policy, she should talk to the patient advocate at her husband's facility to get in touch with the Senior Ombudsman or Office on Aging in your state for help. They can help her or their daughter get his Power of Attorney, or arrange a guardianship - either can be done through family court, with or without his consent, if he refuses to sign. They can also teach her the language to use in dealing with the insurance company. Most policies require that you need assistance with a certain number of ADL's - activities of daily living, or be incapable of being left unattended, to qualify for payment.

If she does not have a policy, she should start with the same people I named above to find out how to apply for Medicaid for her husband's care. In most states now, if the care exhausts the family savings, the other person doesn't have to sell the home they still occupy, or the car, etc for him to get care. If he is a military veteran (including reserves/National Guard) she should contact her state department of Veterans' Affairs (easier than the VA - I know from experience.) If all else fails, if she, her husband, or the facility, are affiliated with a church or fraternal organization, they can sometimes step in to render temporary assistance while she works through all of the details. Based on their combined incomes, state law and federal rules, she will still make some payments for his care, but will be left enough money to (hopefully) handle her needs as well. If Medicaid is involved, her daughter will be required to contribute rent to the household too, based on her income.

In case it isn't obvious, I have been involved in caregiving for family members for over 40 years, and have been down ALL of these avenues once or more.

@sundance6 My advice to anyone anticipating long-term needs in the future, either in a facility or at home, is to do your research NOW and get whatever coverage you can afford. My husband and I purchased ours when we were in our 50's so we have been paying premiums for a long time. But, if we tried to get this insurance now, we would be denied due to our current health and the number of companies that have stopped issuing these policies. A friend our age recently tried, and the premiums she was quoted were over three times what we pay per year.

I wish your friend good luck as she pursues this. I am sorry she has to deal with this at the same time as cancer treatment, because it is time-consuming and can be frustrating. Remind her that she needs to keep complete records of all contacts, documents and promises, including dates, times, names & numbers... Also a COMPLETE record of all payments she makes for her husband's care from now on, including incidentals, lodging, meds, etc, because if their savings are gone she may be entitled to some reimbursement when everything is finally decided.

Sue