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When things just don't get better
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 11, 2022 | Replies (147)Comment receiving replies
@lacy2
Oh my goodness my dear, it sounds like a very unstable situation there. I hope you have a backup resource or two? I mean is there any way for you to receive some help in a pinch? I certainly hope so, especially if there are times when neither of you has a way to be the caregiver of the moment. My wife and I are without any backup per se, all our family is over a thousand miles away and nobody nearby, just casual friends. Fortunately I am in solid health (knock on wood) but it's always in the back of my mind "what if...". We would have to lean heavily on faith in a pinch (I think of the quote about "consider the lilies of the field"..."birds of the air" etc), which takes me all the way back to the year after we were married and the unsteady situation we were in financially and how we were looked after from above back then. My heart goes out to you both, and I hope your husband can rally from his convalescence to become the rock for you both again. But I also know just how much healing is required to come back from open heart surgery, that takes so much out of one. Can be a long road back. Is he making good progress? Best, Hank
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@jesfactsmom and friends... a thousand miles away? Australia? It's difficult when we are not ill enough to require support services yet not well enough to need help occasionally. I have 2 daughters close by but they have parters, home to look after and work from home in IT... its surprising how many hours many people who work in this field spend on computer, phone etc., and three hour meetings across the globe... so we call on them when only absolutely necessary. I pay someone to pickup online grocery orders etc. He has a male or female nurse every morning to change dressing on leg wound from surgery - I have never seen a wound like this, was expecting a neat scar but far from it... and it "leaks" etc. takes about 45 minutes to remove dressing, clean, and put new one on..... yet the incisions on his chest healed up quickly. Its something to do with new veins not grown yet.... thankfully no infection.... all this is new to us. Its odd as I had a"better" day yesterday compared to most but in evening had a flareup and went to bed at 6.30 and of course the physical led to the emotional, and my looking for sympathy or solution from someone who has their own medical issues. I am really down today, anniversary of my Mum passing - I had not seen her for many years, she was in UK, and also my only brother's birthday, he passed 2017 in UK. Am not looking for sympathy but just saying.... I see nephrologist tomorrow just for test results, only seen her once before.. but am hoping I can ask her about a couple of other issues if she has time...during Covid i am lucky to see a Dr.in person. I am waiting six months for ENT.... appointment end of March but it will be over phone... Dr.tomorrow sees 5 patients a morning and they clean between each one; should be OK as I had tooth out Dec.27 and dentist couldnt get much closer! Well, enough moaning from me but you are right... things are at an emotional high here (with other issues too) so not sure how it will go. I have a social worker zoom me once a month but its very basic... really, who can help? We have to get through this somehow on our own.. as you did with your wife... but as they say "it aint easy" Thanks