I can absolutely relate. I grew up the youngest of twelve. I didn't have much self-confidence or feeling of ability to relate to others. My father could be abusive in punishments. In my twenties I ended up with wife with family and mental health problems. I spent fifteen years spirally down trying to help her. I ended up a single dad. I spent another fifteen years being a single dad and ended up losing my health, job, and home. Always trying to make things better. But, always seem to run up against something else that seemed to negate any real improvements. That something I have been reaching for keeps being yanked just out of reach by something else. It has been somewhere else that I did to hurt myself. The economic changes over the years. Political influence on assistance and what was offered as help. And family fragmentation. I can't tell if I am growing or getting stronger because there always seems to be something more. I can't tell if the struggle is actually going down the road in life. Or am I just stuck in quicksand constantly flailing around.