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When things just don't get better

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 11, 2022 | Replies (147)

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@jesfactsmon

@lacy2
Hi J.S. I do so agree with you. Kindness costs absolutely nothing, and yet some people can't seem to express it. Weird if you ask me.
You guys and we are a bit similar, at least superficially. We have been married 42 years and I am 5 years younger than Linda. We always kidded each other about how that was perfect, as men tend to die approx. 5 years before their wives, so if I am 5 years younger maybe we'll both kick together 🤞😊. Fortunately (knocking on wood here) I am mostly healthy and able bodied and am able to provide for whatever she can not do for herself due to pain or lack of energy. That must have been extremely challenging for you to have to pick up the reins for your household while he was incapacitated. The situation surrounding his bypass surgery must have demanded a lot of trips to medical facilities. Did you have relatives that could help or were you relegated to taxis and Ubers/Lyfts? Are you near Vancouver or a more remote locale? It pains me so to think about those such as you guys, with so many problems and not adequate help. I wish society offered a way for ones who need some assistance to connect with those who would be willing to provide some fill-in help as needed, for people who want to (and mostly still can) live on their own but just need that extra help here and there. I'd sign up to do what I could. Heck, it seems like an online app could be created to do that somehow. I am glad you have found Connect JS, it has been a big help to both Linda and myself this past year. I have learned lot's of helpful things and met some truly wonderful people in the process. And as for BC, there is some of the most gorgeous scenery I have ever seen, both in BC and in Alberta. Our trip through that area in 2001 was one of our fondest memories. Unfortunately 9/11 cut it short, as we were in Revelstoke on that day. My best to you, Hank

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Replies to "@lacy2 Hi J.S. I do so agree with you. Kindness costs absolutely nothing, and yet some..."

...felt a bit under the weather for a few days and catching up: we are in Northern Ontario.... 50,000 population and hospital here but no cardiac dr., rheumatologist, oncologist so go to larger hospital about 1.5 hours away.
So husband one morning just came into my bedroom and said I don't feel well, think I will lie down for a bit: he "never" says that.... but then he said can I use your blood pressure monitor as mine is showing my pulse really high, then low, then high...sure I said: his B.P. was good but pulse erratic and just the look on his face and sort of "grey" I said.. do you want me to call an ambulance? Yes he said and next thing he is flown to the other centre by helicopter... the news.. triple bypass, but they were swamped and waited 2 weeks. He already had bowel cancer and has diabetes so stayed 6 days instead of 4 after operation.
For a month after he said he couldnt breath and everyone said thats normal after heart surgery..... but had xray via family doctor and admitted right away had Hemothorax, and they took 3 litres blood from lung area and he had collapsed lung...but that was done in local hospital. He is progressing slowly, wound on leg where they took vein has not healed so its been almost 2 months daily dressings and nurse comes here. So getting that help.
Sooo, reason I thought I would mention this (as a change from my problems!) and sorry to be so long-winded but is to show how quickly it can happen - he had been on cholesterol pills etc. prior to... and if he had just gone by blood pressure would have thought he had the flu or such .. but it was the "pulse" reading that was the warning sign so thought I'd pass that info along....
We are managing but for first time sort of snapping at each other which we didnt do before and it's just the stress level, Covid, daily routine gone down the tubes etc...... but we are here for each other. Since then two of daughter's friends have had chest pain and both slated for bypass surgery this month! (Hank, have never been to BC but husband worked there for a few years in a sawmill and yes beautiful scenery I hear) J.