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When things just don't get better
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 11, 2022 | Replies (147)Comment receiving replies
So nice to hear of you and your wife's relationship and I am sorry she is ill. (One of my problems too is tinnitus and it is relentless). My husband is 9 years younger than me and was in reasonable health (we each have survived cancer) but few years ago I took a nose-dive and he had been looking after me; then 8 weeks ago he had triple bypass surgery and I had to somehow take over while he was gone 3 weeks... and now we are propping each other up. He keeps his feelings to himself and I don't... but we are still there for each other, married 40 years (my second marriage). Being a caregiver can be a strain on a relationship, and being in the house a lot due to his recovery and Covid, its the "little things" that seem to bother us, especially being so cold outside and neither of us driving right now. This must be so hard on many people especially with health issues. However, "sympathy" costs nothing and yet some people just "cannot" feel it or express it for others.
Best wishes to you too Hank, and your wife...J.S. (Ontairo)
Replies to "So nice to hear of you and your wife's relationship and I am sorry she is..."
@lacy2
Hi J.S. I do so agree with you. Kindness costs absolutely nothing, and yet some people can't seem to express it. Weird if you ask me.
You guys and we are a bit similar, at least superficially. We have been married 42 years and I am 5 years younger than Linda. We always kidded each other about how that was perfect, as men tend to die approx. 5 years before their wives, so if I am 5 years younger maybe we'll both kick together 🤞😊. Fortunately (knocking on wood here) I am mostly healthy and able bodied and am able to provide for whatever she can not do for herself due to pain or lack of energy. That must have been extremely challenging for you to have to pick up the reins for your household while he was incapacitated. The situation surrounding his bypass surgery must have demanded a lot of trips to medical facilities. Did you have relatives that could help or were you relegated to taxis and Ubers/Lyfts? Are you near Vancouver or a more remote locale? It pains me so to think about those such as you guys, with so many problems and not adequate help. I wish society offered a way for ones who need some assistance to connect with those who would be willing to provide some fill-in help as needed, for people who want to (and mostly still can) live on their own but just need that extra help here and there. I'd sign up to do what I could. Heck, it seems like an online app could be created to do that somehow. I am glad you have found Connect JS, it has been a big help to both Linda and myself this past year. I have learned lot's of helpful things and met some truly wonderful people in the process. And as for BC, there is some of the most gorgeous scenery I have ever seen, both in BC and in Alberta. Our trip through that area in 2001 was one of our fondest memories. Unfortunately 9/11 cut it short, as we were in Revelstoke on that day. My best to you, Hank
Connect
JS,,SUZZ, LACY, GINGER, HANK, Thank you all for allof your thought and encouragement! For some reason this morning conversation with my family it all hit me hard! As I have said being an only child you get used to being on your own and standing up for yourself!
I just this week recived the "Mayo Clinic, Guide to Fibromyalgia!" I'm about half way through and it gives so much information and guidance on both Fybromyalgia and Lyme Disease! (Both have many of the same similiar symptoms) If anyone out there is looking for a great description of how to life with either of these illneses I would suggest ordering it on line, I got mine on Google!(About $25 if I remember)
It also talks about how hard it is to accept, after 75 years, of being so active in so many activities to have those taken away because of illness!
Back to my point about being an only child, I have been truly blessed in 75 years to have had many Wonderful Mentors, Special Friends, both female and male, and have met so many Wonderful People people in my life! I guess it is just something that you have to learn as time slips by!
It just seems stange that it comes back to being on you own!
I've made many mistakes and correct decisions in my life, it seems stange to end up alone! But I'm also blessed with four Wonderful and Special Animals that are my Special Spirits!
Thanks and Love to all of you who take the time to read and offer help!
Have a Blessed weak!
Sundance(RB)