Sorry maybe as a newbie on here I shouldnt comment, but I feel for you Sundance... and I dont consider it whining.... and am sure if someone mentions their medical condition to you , that you acknowledge and even maybe make suggestions: I think, because I like to help - even verbally - when someone has a problem medical or otherwise, I think others - relatives or not - might do the same for me, but the realization as you explain is that it doesn't work that way. Sometimes, though, I just want a hug or "hope you feel better soon" - I don't expect a cure from them. Sometimes, and certainly not wishing it on anyone, it takes an illness to happen to someone for them to understand what others are going through...? As I say I have one daughter who I can count on and the other, well, she thinks if I go back on antidepressant I will cope with physical illness...whereas I say if I can get help with physical illness and pain I wouldn't be depressed! So no simple solution.... so nice you can come to this venue and express how this makes you feel, and am wishing you the best and that you have or will meet some more sympathetic friends.... J.S. (Ontario)