Replies to Hello, Hank. When I read what you said about your childhood feelings, it hit a couple…

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Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 11, 2022 | Replies (147)

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@ess77

Hello, Hank. When I read what you said about your childhood feelings, it hit a couple of nerves.....that's a good thing! Disconnected is the first thing to hit me. I just now realize that's the way I felt almost all my life, until now. And it was a heavy feeling. I don't remember really having fun, ever, not deep down fun....I wanted to, tried, thought I was....but not really. You know, there's been so much emotional pain and physical junk since I was a young teen, I guess I really didn't feel honest, true emotions, so I couldn't experience fun. I think it was a trust issue, trust in myself and my emotions as being true and ok. It was ok to feel hurt or damaged or angry or sad......I always, all my life, have dealt with those feelings as wrong feelings. Bad. Thus, I was always wrong, bad.....Wow! You've really led me into an area I haven't touched before. Good for you and good for me! I'm the only girl in between 2 brothers growing up in the 50's +. My father, bless him, was a remarkable man, quite accomplished and special. But, he had a spot for me in the family and social dynamics that was difficult for me. I was never included in his life at all. The boys and he teased.....which is normal, yes, BUT not to the degree and personal depth they went. I wasn't ever as good as they, don't remember being praised by my parents, etc. That was the way it was in those years, prettty much for the next several decades. I experienced, as did most of my female peers, work discrimination to the degree most wormen today would be horrified to hear. Amazing how many ways we girls/women were put down, criticized, treated as unworthy. Yet, I was greatly loved. So, many years of confusion, eh? Now, I'm free to be me.....at 73 years old with a body that is fighting with me to get better and enjoy life. Finally. I missed too many good years, but pray I will have some good ones ahead. Bless you, Hank. Look what you just did for me! Elizabeth

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Replies to "Hello, Hank. When I read what you said about your childhood feelings, it hit a couple..."

Hank | @jesfactsmon | Jan 2, 2021

@ess77
Hi Elizabeth. You sound like someone who has been through the emotional mill for many MANY years. Like me. If part of what life is for is learning lessons, then hopefully you and I have done some learning. I too have felt love. And emotional pain. Like a square peg, just never fitting properly in the world. Being a sensitive person is a double edged sword, causing exposure to hurt and yet also to insights one would not otherwise have. I wish you much goodwill in your lifelong struggles, may they lead you toward positivity always! Best, Hank

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Sundance(RB) | @sundance6 | Jan 2, 2021

Bless you and Hank both! So many of us have gone through so many issues growing up! I'm one year older than you Elizebeth! Because of an inheretied seach disorder from my Dad I was bareky able to hold a conversation until I was 18. I think my dad blamed himself for that! Unfortunately he never told me so! He died at 68. Ashamed because he was such a good man I never got to talk to him about it! He died 40 years ago!
For those first 18 years I was Bullied, made fun of and left out of many things! I was told by my 8th Grade teacher, a Nun, that I was so Stupid I would never graduate high School!
But that also gave me the Strength to Dig Deeper to Succeed! I ended up with three college degrees! I have been successful in my business career. Personal life has it's up's and downs!
I had a Life full of travel and experience! For that I was Blessed.
Now life has become very diffucult! Having come down with either or Lyme Disease or Fibromyalgia or both, I'm not able to enjoy the physical aspects of my life that I had for over 70 years!
But trying to Practice what I Preach, I work every day at looking at Life with the Blessing I have had! It has become my new occupation!
I have believed in reading and experiencing a large amount of "Self Help"! I have had medical help, but in the end it is up to me to help myself!
It is also Wonderful to be connected to so many kind people on MayoConnect! It's like having a friend or Lover that you can open up to and not be afraid of being critized or judged!
stay Strong!
Blessings from The Land of Enchament!
SUNDANCE(RB)

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