Tired of the fight for treatment/DIC & chronic pain

Hello, all: Have any of you had an episode of D.I.C. following surgery or another trauma? It's a rare bleeding disorder that has a survival rate of around 15%. I experienced it immediately after my 3rd back surgery in 2007. Since so few people survive, the medical field knows very little about DIC or it's long-term effects. The after effects, plus several failed surgeries that left me with chronic pain in my back & painful neuropathy in both feet, have led to me living in a recliner or wheelchair. Nothing helps and at 67 years old, I'm ready to give up the battle. Doctors don't know how to help & they keep screwing around with my meds. My pain level stays at a 9+, but with 5 to 6 10mg tabs of Norco per day, muscle relaxants & 2 mg of Clonopin daily, the pain number goes down to 7 & I can handle that. In my area of SE Florida, there were pain clinics on every block in the mid 1980s for several years where you could show up & a doctor would ask a couple questions & prescribe whatever you asked for. This legal drug trade went on until the DEA forced the doors shut on thousands of pain clinics, many doctors lost their licenses & Walgreens pharmacies were nearly shut down & could not fill scripts for opioids or anxiety meds for many years. Today, they have very limited supplies & ridiculous restrictive rules on dispensing opioids. Pain clinics push useless (for me) shots & conservative non-opiod treatments. At 67, I should be able to get the meds I know work for me, but I can't. The anxiety & depression are overwhelming. I really don't care if it's dangerous to take Benzies & opioids together. I've taken them for years exactly as prescribed & was able to live life instead of just existing. The DIC has left me with slowed responses, stuttering, jello-like legs & body leading to many falls. I was laid up last year with a severely broken ankle & torn tendon requiring 2 surgeries. After 7 months in a non-weight bearing cast, I was able to start P.T. but 3 weeks later another fall broke all the bones on the top of the same foot & was back in a non-weight bearing boot for 4 months. This started on January 23rd, 2019 & lasted till November, 2019. I continue to have lots of falls & recently broke a bone near my little toe, but I didn't get treatment for it because, like I said, I'm tired of the battle & life. Thanks for "listening".