@rwinney Rachel, I am glad you are finding inner strength and increased ability to cope with your life's issues now. Everyone's experience is different and for you it was like somebody flipped a switch and your life went from what was for forty years a normal, happy life to something quite different. Your adjustment to that flipped switch is a testament to your will and your determination to return positivity to yourself in as much measure as you are able. I think I once mentioned to you my firm belief that the energy you (or anyone) put out into the universe is never wasted energy, it always repays you in some way. You are creating goodness to yourself and those around you by being the purposeful positive person that you are striving to be. You are very well regarded for this among those that have known you here on Connect. My very best wishes to you, and to your husband and kids. Best, Hank