Hi, Dan. My wife was diagnosed with MCI in 2011 and then had a comprehensive test in 2012 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. The disease progressed very slowly, but steadily. I was able to take care of her in our home until this August when for her safety and mine she was admitted into a memory care facility. (She was frequently in danger of falling.) I thought you might benefit from some of the things that have been of great help to me over the past many years.

Like others have said "If you've seen one dementia patient, you've seen one dementia patient. Each situation is different." I gained a lot from attending every Alzheimer's Association class that was offered. Education and learning is very helpful for a caregiver. Our local hospital also has a Neurological Resource Center which has a library that has good material. It also has meeting rooms for classes but those aren't being used right now because of COVID.

A very important part of my learning process was to realize how important it is for a caregiver to take good care of himself, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Very frequently the caregiver will die before their loved one. For her good, you must take good care of yourself. Develop a plan on how you are going to do that.

I benefit a great deal from a men's only support group that meets once a month (now it's a Zoom meeting but I'm looking forward to getting back to face-to-face meetings eventually.) The beauty of it is that I gain from the knowledge and caring support from others who have different types of experiences to share and to suggest possible solutions to my "crisis of the day". Also, as time goes on and new members join the group, I can share my knowledge and experience and support with them too. It's an important part of my support network.

We have a Aging and Long Term Care office in town. It's a state office that offers support for caregivers to help them care for their loved ones in their home as long as possible. (Your local community probably has a similar center, maybe under the name of Office of Aging and Adult Support or Aging and Disabilities, etc.) I was assigned a caseworker who had lots of information about other care resources in our area such as day care centers, in-home care services, counselors, etc. For low income clients it provides house cleaning and in-home care at little or no cost.

My income and assets are above their low income standards but even so they set me up with counseling service (as a military veteran) at no cost to me. I meet with him once a month and he helps me develop a plan of action for the latest challenge that I have at the time. Very helpful support. Also, for a while they did provide some light housekeeping services until I needed more skilled caregivers and they they had good information on in-home care resources. Sabrina came twice a week from 9am to noon to take care of Judy and do light housework so I could get away for appointments, errands, yardwork, etc. It was invaluable and at a very reasonable cost.

The Aging and Long Term Care office also coordinates a waiting list for a Powerful Tools for Caregivers class. I benefited from that class too. It also came with a useful book that I also frequently referred to. I highly recommend it if you can locate such a class. It is a practical class to help you to care for your wife and also to take care of yourself.

Of course the Mayo Clinic Connect is a great support group too. Many of us caregivers have found that part of our job is doing problem solving with the latest wrinkle that developed in the care. This group can often come up with many useful suggestions for anything that comes up, and maybe one of the suggestions will work very well for you.

Wishing the best for you and your wife!

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