Joann, I am sorry that you feel so frustrated. It can be daunting to fight this disease. Hang in there, and stay on course to kick it's butt. In all of the yrs I have been in this group; I have seen many changes. I have seen members get better, some get better and leave, some get better and stay. I have seen member's symptoms improve, and some members who test negative for yrs. I am one of those members. I have tested negative for mac since 2014. (I got it in 2005). I have seen new meds get approved and work on folks with MAI, the form of mac that puts cavities in your lungs. More and more patients are recovering from that, whereas before, it was damn near hopeless. A small percentage of people recover altogether and never get it again. Work on changing your mindset. Tell yourself you just aren't having it any more! And mean it!