@lorirenee1 @jesfactsmon my isolation is my own fault. I devoted all of myself to my jobs for 25 years and there are many tough situations to deal with in management and you can’t really share anything because of privacy concerns. I have no hobbies, worked 7 days week 12 hours/day minimum and then sleep. Some truly awful management situations were given to me to deal with and the last couple broke the anxiety/depression camel’s back. At the same time the sciatica was ramping up over 10 years and it wasn’t until the last couple years I could get a minimal amount of pain meds. I had to kneel at work, sit with a towel under my thigh, and sometimes just go cry in the bathroom or parking garage. Clearly physical therapy wasn’t helping or chiropractics etc. It hurt to have a sheet touch any part of my calves. I am so glad I met you both but realize I made bad decisions. Work should never be someone’s life. My psychologist said because of the number of years I dealt with this it would be very hard to heal to a normal level emotionally and I believe she’s right. I look forward to hearing from both of you and hope it continues. Need to ice down now. I took a Murphy for a short walk. My lichen planus is also acting up and I have to be careful with where the cream ends up as it slowly thins your skin.

Lori Renee, I absolutely agree. I think we understand pain so well b/c we live w/ so much of it and it's so severe. And unrelenting. That is why this group is so great. We understand what each other are feeling. No one, not one, has understood until I found you guys. My husband is very empathetic, kind, helpful etc. for which I am deeply grateful, but still I wish he or some of my kids could really know what it feels like. But at the same time, I don't want them to hurt at all!!! This I know, that Jesus knows: Isaiah 53:4 Surely he took up our pain (grief/sorrows) and bore our suffering..." I'm grateful for this group. You all are GREAT!! So supportive and encouraging. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! @jesfactsmon @bustrbrwn22 @rwinney @johnbishop @avmcbellar

Your husband sounds a lot like mine when it comes to sympathy or empathy. I have come to the conclusion that men in general have a hard time dealing with other peoples' pain. Many men will not visit friends in hospital or even at home if they are sick or dying because they just don't know how to deal with it. My husband and I have been married 15 years and it was a second marriage for me and his fourth for him. I married him because he was and is a sweet person, affectionate, responsible, loyal, and up until recently hard working. He's 79 and I'm 76. In most respects our marriage has gotten better even as it has become more of a friendship than a love affair. I try not to say anything about my pain. He knows I have a lot of pain- sometimes it's under control but right now it's pretty hard to keep it that way. He suffers from terrible migraines so he knows about pain. he support me in the ways he can but he is not what I would call attentive. Probably 12 years ago I came to the conclusion that I needed to keep certain things to myself and in recent years that has included my pain. When he is having a migraine he goes to bed and takes pain medication and a sedative. When I can do something for him I will but for the most part there is nothing I can do to help him. I have become less sensitive to his pain, too. I think sometimes we expect too much from those we are closest to. Some people may be missing a gene that makes them more caring but others just don't have the energy to provide the kind os support we would like to have. I think it is a rare man who is able to give the kind of support we would like to have from them.