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@lorirenee1 jimhd Lori, I agree 100%. Jim we need to break down that horrible history of yours and clean out some of that old s**t that is still haunting you. I know it's very hard to eradicate and impossible to ignore. Over on the Depression discussion yesterday, I was talking about how I did "The Work" back in the late 80's. The thing that was so powerful about it (which I had forgotten about but Linda reminded me yesterday) was the process of going back, in your mind and emotions, to times in your childhood when you were hurt or abused in some way, and viewing yourself as that little innocent and unprotected child who had to go through that. John Bradshaw, who we spoke about over in the other discussion, also wrote a book about "Healing the child within" (or something like that). That was what made the biggest change in me, it was dramatic, and after the change happened, the "old me" never came back, i.e. I was healed, basically. I could not believe it when it happened, it seemed too good to be true! I think that could happen for you as well. I wonder if any of your therapists have ever discussed this with you. Best, Hank
Replies to "@lorirenee1 jimhd Lori, I agree 100%. Jim we need to break down that horrible history of..."
@jimhd Jim, I wanted you to see my earlier post (I am now replying to it) but I didn't write your Mayo handle correctly (forgot the @ sign). Maybe you could click "show" above my post I am now writing and read it, in case you didn't already. Thanks, Hank
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Dear Ones, another idea some therapists embrace, is to picture your parents or whoever your abuser/s were, as little kids themselves. I think it's b/c they too were likely abused or went through hardships in some way. It makes it easier to forgive them and we know, forgiveness frees you. They say, if we continue in our pain we are continuing to give them power/control over us. Oy vei, so complex.
Interesting I thought, that in Psalm 46:10 which says, "Be still and know that I am God", the word "still" in the original language, means to cease striving (anxting), stop fighting, relax and it also means to “put your hands down”. Sometimes we put our hands up to defend ourselves from all that life can bring our way. You've seen the bumper sticker and heard the saying, "let go and let God". Lay this pain at His feet. He can certainly relate!
Another thing that helps me in my struggle w/ my abusers, is that we have a just God, and in His time and way, He will deal w/ them accordingly. The horror and unspeakable trauma a lot of us have gone through in life, is heartwrentching. We can be healed. I haven't arrived yet by any means but I believe it's possible. I've come a long way and I hope and pray you all are experiencing some victory along the way as well. I keep laying my pain (emotional, physical), memories, thoughts etc. at God's feet but keep taking them back again. The more I focus on His love for me and take in the healing scriptures, the better minute, hour or day I have. I hope and pray for healing for all of us.
One last thought. No one should ever minimize their own pain or circumstances. We fall into the trap that we don't have it as bad as others but I had a brilliant godly therpaist who told me never to do that; it's counterproductive and simply not true. I tend to do that a lot. I know she was right to tell me not to and I'm getting there slowly.
Thank you for sharing your pain. Thank you for caring so deeply. You all are a huge blessing to me! In Christ's unfathomable love, Sunnyflower 🙂