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@lorirenee1 Wow Lori, you had what Linda had 2 days ago, a pain free period of time. I think it was Saturday or it might have been Friday, but I came into the living room and sat on the couch and she said to me "I am not feeling any pain!" I was blown away and of course she was even more blown away. A couple hours later she came to me with a wry smile on her face and she said "I still am not feeling any pain. My feet have no pain, my headache is mostly gone, my tinnitus is at a very low level". Then she started to well up with tears. "Its been SO LONG since I felt like this" she said. "I can't believe it". A few hours later she said she was still mostly pain free although things had begun to fire up. Anyway, it was pretty much over with, the miraculous part anyway. Not sure why it happened or if/when it will again. We can't figure out anything to attribute it to. But it was a wonderful day. Best, Hank
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@jesfactsmon Linda's relapse into pain free mode must have made you feel better, too, Hank. I'm afraid I don't always notice when I'm not in pain, and/or don't fully appreciate it. Mostly it happens when I'm in the garden, doing things I enjoy.
I'm afraid I set myself up for more work than I'll be able to handle. I get catalogs from a few plant sources, one being Brecks. They sell bulbs from Holland, page after page of beautiful tulips, lilies, daffodils, peonies, allium, crocus and various others. I ordered a bunch of tulips, daffodils and daylillies, scheduled to arrive in the middle of this month. I need to first figure out where I can plant them where the deer can't get to them and away from moles and voles and gophers. Then, prepare planting beds against the day when the bulbs and rhizomes arrive. I might have to store some in the cellar until I recover from back surgery. And I have quite a list of fall chores, digging and dividing iris, daylillies, tulips, cutting things back, pruning and lifting bulbs to overwinter in the cellar. Hopefully I can get things done before the next surgery. Looks like I'll have ample opportunity to distract myself from pain. LOL
@rwinney I'm sorry neuropathy is getting the best of you. You have more than any one person should have to bear, Rachel. Same goes for @sunnyflower . You both show an amazing amount of strength and determination, and at the same time so supportive of others.
@lorirenee1 Level 5 is difficult. It's unsettling having that level of depression and dealing with exhaustion that is made worse by thoughts of suicide. Level 4 is a dangerous place. Not a good place to linger. I lived at that place for a long time. I think that I'm possibly part of a minority of actively suicidal people who manage to survive. I had a bunch of therapists from mediocre to wonderful who stuck with me and helped me find my way out.
I was still fighting to stay above 4 when neuropathy pain hit. That set me back for quite a while, and I know that the comorbidity of depression (& anxiety, PTSD and OCD) and chronic pain is a killer, if not literally, at least figuratively. As Sunny said, it's unrelenting. Which makes a few hours of relief that Linda experienced and the time that I experienced with my scs excruciatingly pleasurable.
Philip Yancey and Dr. Paul Brand wrote a book entitled "Pain. The gift no one wants to receive", or a similar title. I don't know if I want to read it. My wife has all of Yancey's books. She wrote a note of appreciation to him, and he responded with a nice hand written note.
Well, I took the Cadillac to the shop this morning, and he ran enough diagnostics to know that he has to check out some ABS modules. So, my wife is going to follow me to the shop now and leave the car there. This is why we've always had 2 cars.
Jim