@jamsie I can so relate to what you've written. I wonder if your husband and my ex are related (just a little joke)!
No apologies are needed here. I think part of depression for me is shame for what I feel or don't feel or for not being/feeling "normal". The positive side of COVID is that "normal" people are getting to somewhat experience what we deal with every day. I have found this to be a safe place to express oneself. So please keep posting for that is a good thing you are doing for yourself.