← Return to Dealing with a Relationship that has Become Toxic (Gaslighting)

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Why are you waiting? I know I have lived through two, yes, two toxic relationships. I stayed because we had children and also, I always thought I could change him. That never happened. I got married at the age 17, one month from my graduation from high school. Married to a very abusive man for 8 1/2 years. He was abusive physically and mentally. He broke my ear drum and to this day I have impaired hearing. I was sleeping when he drug me out of bed to do this. I found out I have/had a twin in this town. People would tell him they saw me–I was home with our three children–he didn't believe me. I, too, was raised in a dysfunctional family. I married again to the same type–different as day and night but still an abuser. You need to get out now! I was afraid and therefore, prolonged it. I pray for you. Please don't procrastinate any longer.

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Replies to "Why are you waiting? I know I have lived through two, yes, two toxic relationships. I..."

Thank you Woogie. I am doing this. I have an apt. He is on the lease. I am looking to move as well. I have a dog too. He saw my dog as a problem too. There is a process to follow. . He only has an RV to his name at a former co workers house who has been targeted by someone . They slashed the tires on the former co workers truck . If necessary I will call the police to have him removed to the location of his rv. Karma is at work. He has made poor decisions. I doubt he even realizes he engaged in gaslighting. He and I had sars cov 2 last month. My infection was mild. I knew how to reduce my viral load. I am got blamed for having a milder Infection. I am a retired RN. I learned how to reduce my viral load. I made suggestions to help him do the same. He would not do it. I had an alternative to the RV. He raised his voice what alternative I have no money you are trying to control. I was going to ask our apt office if he could park it here temporarily until a safe alternative is found. I stopped talking walked away then he said my approach was wrong I pushed his buttons etc. So I will be the problem the scapegoat etc while his world burns. I go to an person support group thursday. I have been through this with a deceased husband with a pornograpgy addiction a father I had to get an order of protection against which my topiramate taper was going on – I had a seizure risk at the time. I got successfully through the taper. Never had a seizure. When will these people learn? His mother gave me a message early in our relationship. If he feels he is being controlled he will run. I am listening now. Clearly. Run from the pain toward healing – me.