@sunnyflower Sunny, you know I love God also or at least I try to in my puny human way. But when you say "I' ve never felt I was a victim nor have I ever questioned God." I can't say that. I admire you for your staunchness of Faith. Remarkable! Hank

@sunnyflower, @jesfactsmon My husband's very words, "They have no idea...you seem normal to everyone else and they have no idea what really goes on." In other words, what he has to witness, deal with, endure is deceiving to others. The expression goes....you hurt the ones you love. Well, not intentionally of course but, the ones who are closest to you and live with you, share most in your misery, pain and commiseration. This never seemed quite right in my mind because they generally love you the most yet they get the shortest end of the stick. I suppose that is where vows come in. A sad situation overall and not one that any of us would ever choose. I try very hard to remember that my husband feels the most of my pain, he wants to fix me but cant, and that leaves him feeling frustrated, angry and burned out also. I do try to keep his feelings in perspective and show him love and affection as best I can. He deserves more than anyone else in my life.