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@jesfactsmon @jimhd Funny how I set out with good intentions to do a post for this conversation, then sidetrack myself. Avoidance? Fear of over-exposure? Combination of both? Probably. I have spent a lot of time reviewing my history of depression and anxiety, and currently am reviewing it again with a professional. John Bradshaw work was something I also did, and had forgotten about it. Like you, it changed many things for me, and I was also involved in 12-step work then. Looking back, it was very beneficial; as there wasn't a supportive family nor partner available to me.
As each of us will attest to, depression can be defined in different ways, and each of our stories are our own, even though there may be similarities. Even within the same family, an event will be interpreted differently. That doesn't make it "wrong" or "okay", it makes it what it is. For example, my mother's brother-in-law tickling me until I screamed was seen as no big deal. To me, it was terrifying, and 60 years later I remain leery of physical touch.
Is depression permanent? Small manifestations can be present all our lives. It takes hard work to gather ourselves each day, to get to the sunset each day, to see the sun rise each morning. We do what we have to. I don't want to live in a dark hole, but I have visited there. Often. I know the signs, even though growing up I had no idea that what I experienced was not usual for everyone else. I only knew what was usual for our family, and its glorious dysfunction. Am I successful in holding the depression at bay? Most days, yes.
@rollinsk started this discussion, but I have not seen any recent posts. Are you still reading? What are your thoughts?
Ginger
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@gingerw Ginger thanks for your post and thanks for that great question, is @rollinsk still paying attention? It seems like I have see more than a few discussions started by someone, and even when some of those discussions really get rolling, you never hear hide nor hare of the originator, ever. Can't figure it out. Oh well, to your thoughts. I think that maybe it's better to view the "permanence" of depression as simply that some people end up dying before their issues get resolved. Not so much that they couldn't be resolved, but that they just don't get the energy they need to get them to resolution. That's for psychological depression. If there is such a thing as purely physical depression maybe sometimes it inevitably goes the whole way, i.e. it's permanent.
Not to get too metaphysical, but if (as I believe) we move on after death to something else, perhaps all the baggage we have goes with us also (not a pleasant thought now that I am saying it). But then you have Jim @jimhd who has obviously done all that one could possibly be expected to do to try to unravel his demons (his words) but still have much of them still hanging around, i.e. he is still suffering from depression at age 70. My hope for someone like you Jim is that you can break out into the daylight of depression-free existence asap, or at least at some point. I don't know if that will be the case but I fervently hope so.
I am sure I was depressed. But I was also a true Gemini, and swung back and forth between feeling pretty okay and feeling deeply unhappy, for years. I was not bipolar, though my wife thinks I had tendencies toward it. I don't know what happened totally, but I do know I got better, much better, through Bradshaw and "The Work" (as I described elsewhere). I now still have my flaky edges of course, but consider myself mostly functional most of the time. Which is about as much as I think anyone can reasonably expect in life. Best, Hank