Thank you, Ginger. Yes, I spoke with my psychiatrist today. I am going to get the genetic testing done with her tomorrow morning so I can figure out which medications I can and can't tolerate. It's been really rough going on and off all of these psych meds. I am willing to take meds if I have to. I am also going to a new TMS clinic on Thursday. I started doing TMS last week with the Ketamine clinic I'd been going to for almost a year. They do not understand the depths of my depression, and seem to want to get people in and out of there quickly. I've tried speaking with the psychiatrist/owner there, but he is not that type of practitioner. I feel like the ketamine made me worse. He keeps pushing me to get more infusions. I am also doing DBT right now, which, quite frankly, feels invalidating when I'm this low. I am exhausted and hopeless from trying to much. But I cannot kill myself, because I don't want to do that to my loved ones.

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