@beatricefay First, my sincere condolences on losing your son. As @jdiakiw mentioned, writing can be very therapeutic. There is a discussion currently under the Just Want to Talk group, on journaling https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/
There is also a Loss and Grief group discussion under this header https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/
Each person has their own timeline for grieving, their own way of expressing how they feel, and what they are going through. I would encourage you to look under the Loss and Grief group to see if a topic might "speak" to you?
Please do what makes you comfortable, and avail yourself to grief groups through your local Wellness Community, hospice, or place of worship.
Ginger