When a big change in life comes along - illness, divorce, loss or other life transition - you may lose your grip on comfort with yourself. Passages, The Road Less Traveled, Leo Buscaglia, Sara Ban Breathnach (Day Book of Comfort and Joy) are some that will help you recognize where you are. Guilt, blaming and shame are just horrid; a talk therapist can help, but affirmations on your mirror can help change the direction of your thought. I like the Velveteen Rabbit (once you are real..), Prayer of Jabez, and the song Gently Down the Stream, but find your own meaningful quotes. EFT tapping, intentional breathing help with that. It takes some work if you hear someone, even yourself, denigrating who you are. Let yourself be, do things that enrich your life (art, walking in nature, time with a friend, read something uplifting, eat real food) and hydrate. Consider an anti-depressant for focus.