What is Self-acceptance?

Posted by aliali @aliali, May 25, 2020

I have recently done some online search for these concepts but did not get any useful piece of information:
1. What is the difference between self-acceptance and self-reconciliation?
2. How to reach self-acceptance? Is it denying self-flaws, focusing on positive aspects and cultivating them, or facing my negative aspects and eliminating them?
I hope you can help me with them.

Thank you,

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@caroleeuits

I was asked about TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury... Here are some things I suggest for anyone dealing with it in their lives - a sure issue in Self Acceptance
Here are some TBI -Specific recommendations I can make to others who are asking. It is also a tool for my current lining up of resources and ideas I need to pursue for myself after a recent new TBI event in my life:

1. Have someone to go to who will listen, knows what TBI is, and has mental health counseling skills (don’t assume – check them out.

2. Shop around. NOT every hospital that says they work with TBI does it the same way Some are clinical/medical, “getting the facts” through testing (this is good to do even with them. But the difference with who you want to go to is what comes next.

3. Look for institutions known for their work with TBI – and people who will or can:
a. have a history of working with people as people, not just patients- and are known to be willing to involve other services that are “TBI sensitive” that they may not have themselves;
b. quickly respond to the physical exam - who check for physical brain anomalies (e.g.blood floating around, brain chemistry issues);
c. identify and help with behaviors distinguishable in TBI (not just in psychological testing but also motor movement, thought processes, speech, I. Q. changes, and physical capacity strengthening or support ;
d. teach on site TBI-specific home/workspace reorganization e.g. to manage/maintain go beyond the mess (refreshers are needed from time to time)
e. get you community help - when they cannot do it themselves e.g. home cleaning, personal hygiene, away-from-home transportation, etc.
f. offer time management training – and occasional followup reviews/refreshers;
g. provide nutrition ed/ensure that a healthy diet is actually self-happening– or is provided by a food service. (A lot of people think that telling you what to do – means it is on you to do it. With TBI, these folks know that is not what happens without repeated intervention+ retraining to”GLUE it into your routine)
h. provide in-home full-body-bathing/just washing the back & hard to reach places
i. do toe nail clipping
j. give in-home/office occasional checks for moles/anomalies in hard-impossible places to see/reach. (Docs just don’t do these things any more – and yet this prevents cancer and more)

You see all the challenges to self-acceptance. What are your challenges and how have you (perhaps) met them?

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@caroleeuits Sounds like you are getting help. I hope you found the right place. Hang in there, we care for you.

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@caroleeuits

To me, the gifts come, first because God gave them to me/us -usually without my awareness. I sorta of discover they are present when I reflect at how I did something that got me through the "crisis" - something "beyond me" that unfolds. I may have read that something might work ( like how to handle stress" info etc.) But in those "Truck Coming FAST-Just Hit Me" moments, yes reading an practicing what I learned helps alot - but putting it together right in a crisis, or in looking at lifelong patterns all lie in core parental exampe and teaching, and that "walk with God" (as you understand God) sets the tone. The gumption i have in large measure is that I know from God that I am no junk and with God, everything is possible, however hard it is. And so, even with TBI, watch out world- I make differences happen -for/in myself, and for/with other people.

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@caroleeuis Bless your heart. It must have been a big accident, Besides your brain, what other injuries did you get from getting hit? I believe in God too. He can do amazing things. You are a amazing person, seems like you are looking at this injury positively. I will pray for you. May you continue to improve and have a good doctor and helpers to help you through this life. May the spirit be with you too.

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@johnbishop

@aliali, I'm not sure how helpful this will be but it may just be food for thought to help you down the path. I believe you are asking a question that many people struggle with at times including myself. I had the opportunity to listen to Dr Amit Sood in person a few years back and he really had some good tips and strategies to share on how the brain works. He has a Ted Talk YouTube video that you may find interesting if not helpful - Happy Brain: How to Overcome Our Neural Predispositions to Suffering: https://youtu.be/KZIGekgoaz4

I also found an article in Psychology Today that you might find helpful if you have not already seen it.

The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/the-path-unconditional-self-acceptance

Have you read any books on self-acceptance or reconciliation?

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When a big change in life comes along - illness, divorce, loss or other life transition - you may lose your grip on comfort with yourself. Passages, The Road Less Traveled, Leo Buscaglia, Sara Ban Breathnach (Day Book of Comfort and Joy) are some that will help you recognize where you are. Guilt, blaming and shame are just horrid; a talk therapist can help, but affirmations on your mirror can help change the direction of your thought. I like the Velveteen Rabbit (once you are real..), Prayer of Jabez, and the song Gently Down the Stream, but find your own meaningful quotes. EFT tapping, intentional breathing help with that. It takes some work if you hear someone, even yourself, denigrating who you are. Let yourself be, do things that enrich your life (art, walking in nature, time with a friend, read something uplifting, eat real food) and hydrate. Consider an anti-depressant for focus.

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I appreciated your suggestions.

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Actually, the lessons I shared were from before. I am having probs in Cols OH getting what I need - the search is still under way. Thank you for asking I am open to what you and others may know about the Cols. O area

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@marye2

When a big change in life comes along - illness, divorce, loss or other life transition - you may lose your grip on comfort with yourself. Passages, The Road Less Traveled, Leo Buscaglia, Sara Ban Breathnach (Day Book of Comfort and Joy) are some that will help you recognize where you are. Guilt, blaming and shame are just horrid; a talk therapist can help, but affirmations on your mirror can help change the direction of your thought. I like the Velveteen Rabbit (once you are real..), Prayer of Jabez, and the song Gently Down the Stream, but find your own meaningful quotes. EFT tapping, intentional breathing help with that. It takes some work if you hear someone, even yourself, denigrating who you are. Let yourself be, do things that enrich your life (art, walking in nature, time with a friend, read something uplifting, eat real food) and hydrate. Consider an anti-depressant for focus.

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This all sounds so peaceful and fun especially like “,merrily Merrily drown the stream. The joy in that childhood memory

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@hopeful33250

@merpreb You make an interesting point. Self-help books, listening to speakers, going to therapy, etc. do not actually change us. They do, however, plant the seeds of knowledge and insight into our minds and lives. Whenever I read a self-help book or hear someone speak on the topic, I feel that the "seed" of insight and knowledge is planted somewhere in my consciousness. As planting a seed does not make it grow overnight so these seeds of change will take a while. The more that is planted in our mind the more opportunities we have for change.

Change does not happen quickly (as we would hope). We have to remember that it took us a while to become unhealthy therefore the process of becoming healthier will take some time as well.

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@hopeful33250- Change does happen slowly and all of sudden, one-day self-acceptance happens. This, to me, doesn't mean that you won't self-evaluate or stop changing. It means simply that you become your own friend.

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@merpreb

@hopeful33250- Change does happen slowly and all of sudden, one-day self-acceptance happens. This, to me, doesn't mean that you won't self-evaluate or stop changing. It means simply that you become your own friend.

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@merpreb I liked the comment, "It means simply that you become your own friend." I didn't even think I could be my own friend, but I do think of myself that way. I only have only 9 more days till my surgery. I am somewhat anxious, but happy and excited that I am getting it over with. To my friends at Mayo Connect, if you don't hear from me you now I am in surgery on the 9th or recovering. I should be coming home on the 12th if all goes ok. Thanks for the prays for those who love to pray. Jeanie

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