Prior to my learning to accept myself, I felt like I was always observing and judging everything I did. I was an actor in a play, and everyone else was in my play to support or punish my behavior or my feelings. Slowly through years of group therapy in which I received lots of feedback about how other people viewed me, I began to see myself as a whole person who was good enough most of the time, and not so good at other times.

As I learned about how others saw me, I also recognized how I thought of myself. Since I had been left by my mother many times (and by my father) as a child, I thought I must not be good enough or lovable or smart enough. I continued in therapy for nearly 20 years, building and working on becoming my whole self. I went to college and eventually earned my Master's degree. That was a huge accomplishment for me and it went a little to my head. I was striving for perfection when I finally realized that no one is perfect. That didn't last long. I was in my 60s before I recognized my shadow self, even though I knew it was there. My husband helped me see that negative side of my behavior. He accepted all of me and continued to love me.

I accept myself as I am. I have worked over my life to learn and understand others as they are, and myself with all my emotions and experiences. One of the things I learned is that when I become aware of and accepting of others, I forget myself. I mean, I know I'm not the center of the universe for anyone other than myself. I read books, "On Becoming" by Carl Rogers, and his other books. I also read "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer, and "Women as Winners" by Dorothy Jongeward when I was in my 20s, and have read many other so called self help books. My friend once said I had a library of "How to be real books." I lent them out to others when they asked.

I have accepted and reconciled that I am fully human, with all that entails. I have lived, at 71, a very full, satisfying life.