@aliali-Good morning. You are asking wonderful questions that are very difficult to answer. I say this because too many people search to find themselves and get caught up with labels that are given to every little stage of a problem. To me the definition of self reconciliation is very confusing because you can take it to mean two different things. It boils down to accepting others without bias. Self-acceptance is just simply accepting yourself as you are. I have had a terrible time accepting who I am and not gagging. A lot of this is due to my upbringing and a parent who concentrated more on negativity than the positivity. I felt that something was always wrong with me so my striving to be better was hindered by my lack of knowledge on how to correct my flaws. And I craved acceptance and love.

I think that age and my mom's death had a lot to do with my self-acceptance. First she wasn't around to remind me of my past or continue to criticize. And secondly, I had a chance to self evaluate because of that. Self-acceptance can take a long time because no one is perfect. We all have flaws and what I do is try to temper them. It's my nature to be impatient so I try and watch it. But I'm no longer trying to change who I am because then I would be someone else. What fun would that be? Flaws are some of what makes people different. I can think of someone in my life who is beyond naive. She's my sister and sometimes she acts so innocently. It drives me nuts. But it's what makes her, her! Ad I dearly love her.

I used to think that I had to change everything to be liked and accepted. But I have found that I am my worst enemy in self-evaluations. What counts as a good human being are moral standards. As long as you don't impose your beliefs on others than you're good! I believe that It's your personality quirks that really make you who you are. If you are unhappy with who you are then try and find out what the basis of it is. I bet it's not your personality! I bet that you are a great, fun person who is good. It's because you care. Isn't it?