I honestly went through a dark period in August when I had the obstruction. For some reason, that hospital stay was very traumatic for me, probably compounded by how awful I felt from the chemo. I remember wanting to lay in my hospital room with the lights off and just sleep, but my husband wouldn’t let me. When I came home, I felt defeated and very fragile. I think all of my feelings were tied to a feeling of being unable to be sure that my kids were physically and emotionally safe. They went to school thinking I was fine and then I was in the hospital and Daddy was in another state trying to,
get home. I rely on my strong faith to carry me. God really blessed me and I know that if I was meant to die, that would have been my time And I’m so blessed with a huge network of friends who stepped in. My husband is a rock (he’s also a firefighter) and I relied on him so much. I left all of the medical stuff to him, and he fought for me. I really did have a LOT go wrong (allergic reactions to multiple medicines, abscesses, etc) and he was always there to step in and make sure I didn’t fall through the cracks.
Spinal surgery is brutal. I’m glad you are able to have access through the back. Surgery is scary no matter what. I pray that yours will be a success and get you back to fully functioning