Thank you, Hank. I've been following your account of Linda. I know that it's hard for my wife to put up with me and my issues. I try not to burden her down too much with the details, especially details about my mental health stuff. I don't know if a DRG is in my future, but as you well know, we do all we can to find something to numb the pain.
There are, of course, many kinds of pain. Suicide wasn't about the neurpathy pain – that didn't kick in until several years later. But I have to say, there have been times in the past few years when the thoughts of dying surfaced because I just wanted the pain in my feet to stop. I've practiced setting goals – things coming up that I didn't want to miss – and I promise myself that I will be safe until then. At first, it was promising to stay safe for one more day. Looking ahead gradually increased as time went on.
It's a big help to have the periodic days when the pain lessens. I don't experience that, but certain activities distract me from the pain – mostly when I'm working outside, planting and weeding, tending to my large yard and gardens. I'm waiting for a part for my riding mower. I haven't been able to use it yet this season, so I have to walk behind my self propelled mower. Walking is painful. But when I notice that my feet are hurting less, I try to focus on it, and savor the lack of pain.
And the time has come to prepare for bed. I dread lying down because that's when I hurt the most, but I don't have trouble going to sleep as a rule.
I hope Linda has a good day tomorrow. (I hope I'm remembering her name correctly.)