@rwinney Hi, Rachel. I found myself crying reading this. Your struggles are not to be believed. I would not even know how to respond to everything you have wrote. One thing came to mind, but does knowing even make a difference? I started wondering if you could have CRPS, with all of your traveling pain. Would you believe, another thing about your health came to mind, but my tears washed my thought away. Or was it a senior moment? Could be both. It is really bugging me that I do not remember, because it had to do with diagnosis. I know my heart goes out to you, and if I remember what I forgot, I will post again. You have worked so hard, that it must be utterly exhausting. To have such a clear thinking brain, and a deteriorating body, just kills me. I used to listen to Stephen Hawkings and wonder where/how he got his courage. How do any of us get our courage? Why not give up. Your writings are a testimonial to the human spirit. Your drive overwhelms me. God bless you, Rachel, and may Mayo help you in some way. Love, Lori