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← Return to Major Changes as Spouses Age
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Aging Well | Last Active: Oct 23, 2020 | Replies (51)
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FWIW, I found my husband's transplant team useless for depression. They asked him if he was depressed, and he, of course, said "No." End of discussion. I've tried everything I can think of, but he just continues to steadily get worse, be able to move far less.
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@joyces
It has been many years ago.. I was going to a local pain clinic with my back. Injections did not work and the doctor prescribed Neurontin (also known as Gabapentin). I just thought I didn't feel well and the medication was not helping the pain. My husband spoke up at my appointment and told the doctor that the medication was making me depressed. I could not see that the medication was making me depressed until after I stopped taking the medication. Sometimes we need someone to advocate for us.. others (especially if they are close to us and know us well) can see depression when we cannot even tell what we are feeling. Many think depression is just sadness. It can be much more. It can be confusion, sleepiness, sleeplessness, under active, overactive, I don't care, care too much.. and so much more. A mixture of emotions and no emotions.
If you believe your husband is depressed please speak up for your husband and get the doctors to listen. Of course your husband may get upset with you.. so be prepared for that. I have been marred 51 years and have gone through those upset moments many times. It passes.. cause he knows I love him and only want the best for him as he does for me.
Another time.. also many years ago I went to my family doctor for my annual checkup. I told him I did not feel well, but could not put anything particular to a cause. It had a bit of a rough year.. death of an aunt that I was very close to, breast biopsy for me, my father in law (who was like a second dad to me) had a heart bypass, I had a hysterectomy, my father in law was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had surgery as treatment and it all overwhelmed me. My doctor had me fill out a questionnaire. Diagnosis was depression. I took an antidepressant for about a year and then could cope with life again without the medication. I think I would have done better if I had seen a counselor too.
Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.. and is very treatable whether it is because of medications or being overwhelmed or something else.
ZeeGee