@davej, What a touching post and good reminder that it is so important to do that which we can while we can and how sad that your ex relative continued to resent you "for not forcing a trip long ago". Speaking for myself here, but can't recall a single time when I ever was able to "force" another adult to do something or change something only they could do.

How many regrets we might all have in thinking: "if only, I'd....told them when I could, done whatever, etc" Only takes a moment to tell another how much they mean to us or perform some small kindness that might brighten another's day while we can but I am so sorry this woman attempted to place guilt on you during her last days. Who knows the trouble avoided by not taking that trip.